7 signs your chemistry study group is actually a cult meeting in disguise

1. When Sarah, the group leader, suggests you meet at the local coffee shop, no one questions her authority. No one.

2. They keep referring to "The Test".

3. Sarah's phone is always autocorrecting "chemistry" to "chimes", which shares 25% of its letters with "cult". And she doesn't even have an Android.

4. No one else thinks Sarah is a cult leader. Even Carl, who has a tattoo, is not the least bit suspicious of the "periodic" symbols she keeps referencing.

5. The group speaks in complex, coded language. When you say you need a glass of water, they say, "You mean a glass of H20?" And then they laugh. Because they know they've trapped you.

6. When you ask Sarah if this is a cult, she says, "What are you talking about?", which is just the kind of denial you would expect from a cult leader.

7. When you ask Sarah why we call atoms 'atoms', she tells you she doesn't know. You ask why we don't know and as a matter of fact, why is there so much we just don't know, and why does life seem riddled with incessant mysteries at every philosophical turn, and why can we never find a theoretical foundation on which to grapple our understanding of the intricacies of the universe?

She says to stop asking questions because you're causing a 'distraction' to the other group members. Right.

Emma Murphysevens